How Old You Have To Be To Get A Phone

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Source: vadimguzhva/iStock

Every parent these days must struggle with a question that's of import to a kid/teen'southward evolution and health, and it's this: "At what age should I go my child a smartphone?"

I get this question so frequently in my presentations that I wanted to post my thoughts almost information technology hither. This post is based upon my video blog on the topic, but I've fabricated some adaptations and updates to brand this more "reader-friendly." I comprehend this topic and other frequently asked questions in my book, Tech Generation: Raising Balanced Kids in a Hyper-Continued Globe.

Should We Be Concerned Nearly When Our Kids Get a Smartphone?

Smartphones aren't causing kids and teens fall off a cliff into misery and despair. The sky is not falling. Nonetheless, there is inquiry to advise that kids' utilize of smartphones tin accept negative effects on well-existence. Researchers are notwithstanding debating how kids and teens are existence affected by screens and to what extent. Moreover, much of the inquiry is correlational. This makes it difficult to know whether screens are causing some of the negative outcomes or kids and teens who are already anxious and depressed are more drawn to overusing them. Nevertheless, from all that I've read on the discipline, some tentative conclusions at this point are:

Kids and teens are spending a lot of time on screens. Their "typical" use might be "overuse."
Screens are then enticing that it's difficult to put them down and refrain from checking them frequently
The overuse of screens seems to be associated with negative wellness outcomes, including depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem
The relationship between screen use and well-being appears to be bi-directional. For example, kids who are depressed might spend more time on smartphones/social media and, the more than time they spend, the more depressed they become.
The overuse of screens might be causing negative outcomes by pushing out more need-satisfying activities, which include slumber, physical activity, and in-person social interactions.

So, there are valid reasons why we should advisedly consider when to get our kid a smartphone. Moreover, we want our kids to grow potent, healthy relationships with peers and others without the "technoference" that can occur when smartphones are added to the mix.

Pandora's Box?

Getting kids a smartphone is also such an important decision because once they get ane, they'll have access to all sorts of content despite our all-time efforts to limit such access. Smartphones are a gateway to a vast earth full of content that young optics shouldn't see (and can't unsee!). We desire to be careful and endeavour to shield them from this content until they're a fiddling older and more mature. Just as we don't allow our 4-twelvemonth-old to watch The Shining (the R-rated horror classic) or play Telephone call of Duty (an M-rated start-person shooter), we want to make efforts to preclude our young kids from getting a device that provides endless routes to access developmentally inappropriate content. Plus, there are some unsavory people (e.g., cyberbullies, sexual predators) with whom younger kids volition exist sick-equipped to be deal.

Some Important Caveats

Want vs. Need?

At present information technology's important to distinguish a want versus a need because our kids, of grade, will want a smartphone as soon as they can go one. That doesn't mean they really need one. Once we give them a smartphone, its very hard to take it back. The genie's out of the bottle. Taking abroad a smartphone from a ten-year-old will often create more problems than waiting to give them a phone a yr or two later.

No "Magical Age"

At that place's no magical age at which a kid turns and he or she is suddenly responsible plenty to handle the power of a smartphone. Nosotros all know there are some ten-yr-olds who are more responsible than some xx-year-olds. This is analogous to other privileges, such as driving. Some 16-twelvemonth-olds stride up and handle the responsibleness and privilege of driving quite admirably. On the other hand, there are many road-raging 50-year-olds who, arguably, shouldn't be on the road at all. Thus, there's a lot of inherent variability hither in when a kid is ready for a smartphone.

No Research Answers the Question

Not that enquiry could definitively answer this question anyway, but there is no inquiry out there that specifically tries to answer this question of which I'm enlightened. Even if there is a report that tackles this, it could only be answered in general terms—as I'm doing in this mail. Thus, whatsoever "professional advice" on this subject field is just that. But as yous will hear different opinions on when to give kids and teens other privileges, when to get a child a smartphone falls inside this larger umbrella.

The "Answer" Is ...

Part of the trouble in trying to give whatever advice on this topic is that I could give so many caveats that, ultimately, I don't even answer the question. But I'1000 a parent as well, and my wife and I wrestle with this one ourselves. With all of my caveats and qualifications, if you lot had to pin me down on what age seems to be advisable for the responsibilities of a smartphone I'd say some fourth dimension in middle schoolhouse. Ideally information technology's more like 7th or eighth grade because they are a scrap more mature by this time.

In practical terms, tweens have more extracurricular and social activities that brand having a phone useful and convenient. Then, they might need a phone to communicate driblet-offs and option-ups and coordinate activities with friends. A lot of their friends will have phones at this point, so they start getting left out in a very real way if they're not able to easily stay in impact with them.

Wait Until 8th?

You lot might have heard of the Look Until 8th entrada, and that was started by a group of moms hither in Austin, Texas. The idea here was to hold off until kids are in 8th grade to get them smartphones and to get a community of people agreeing to that because if half of the 6th graders take smartphones already, it causes problems for the ones trying to await. In one presentation I was giving, a parent came upwards to me afterwards and said, "Oh aye, Await Until 8, I got that ane!" I was like "Ah, I retrieve it's Await Until 8th as in 8th grade, non 8 years old." Nosotros're talking middle schoolhouse hither. Doh!

Other Tips Regarding Giving Kids a Phone

Starter or "Smarter" Phones for Kids

Some other strategies to keep in mind when getting our kids a phone. 1, it doesn't have to be a smartphone. In that location are some "smarter" phones for kids. These phones, such equally a Pinwheel phone, are designed to be a tool and non a toy and don't come up with some of the trappings of full-fledged smartphones (e.g., social media, YouTube, games). Phones with limited functionality allow our kids to interact with their friends through parent-approved contact lists while allowing some peace of mind for parents. Another positive almost a starter phone is information technology's testing the waters. If our kids can demonstrate that they tin handle such a phone in a responsibly, then eventually they tin can level up to a traditional smartphone. Equally kids are getting older, nosotros have to give them more autonomy. This is an important developmental consideration. If we don't give them more autonomy, how will they grow to exist responsible adults?

Go Over Some Dos and Don'ts

Now when they get the phone, whether it's a smartphone or a dumb phone, it'southward of import to go over some exercise'south and don'ts with them on the front end. We want to exist clear near the expectations and limits are. This is a dialogue, information technology shouldn't all be top-down. We should exist discussing these things with our children so that they understand that at that place are consequences of misuse. These consequences usually should involve losing access to that phone for a certain menstruum of fourth dimension. That is considered a logical consequence to misusing the privilege of the phone.

"Lending" the Phone

When we're getting our child his or her starting time phone, whether it's a smartphone or a impaired phone, ane thing that can be helpful is letting them know y'all are lending them this phone. It's not theirs permanently, we're giving them this phone based on their responsible apply of it. If they don't utilize it responsibly, then they could lose some access. Another suggestion related to this that can be helpful is that they pay a sure percentage of their phone bill each month. This gives them "skin in the game" and a sense of responsibleness.

The Takeaway?

In reply to the question, "At what historic period should I get my child a smartphone," I suggest some time in middle schoolhouse, preferably 7th or eighth grade. It doesn't have to be a smartphone. It could be a "dumb" phone or a starter phone that nosotros get them. Then, as they demonstrate responsible use, they could "level upwardly" to a smartphone.

Also, when we do finally get our child a smartphone, we tin can set more restrictions on the telephone use initially, such as the hours of the day that they can take information technology on manus. "Screen Fourth dimension," is a handy new feature within Apple tree's iOS 12, allows parents to fix parameters on kids' telephone use (and our own!). Google's version, Digital Wellbeing, is non available on all Android devices just yet, simply should be before long.

I look frontward to tackling other thorny bug in future posts, such as whether we should have our child sign a contract when getting a smartphone. Only remember that there are not any definitively "right" answers to such questions. These are thorny questions, it's a moving target, and life is complicated. Nosotros are in this together though, so hopefully we can assistance each other out forth the way!